Entering the sacred space of the dying and the grieving can be such a deep experience of love and peace that the only word to explain it is profound.  I was honored to step into this space this past week and came away from it with a deep knowing that the most important energies that need to surround such an experience are allowance, patience, and unconditional love.  I had the privilege to share with a dear friend, the end of her partner’s life.  There is something about being close to the energy of death that brings deep sacredness.  It is like touching the energy of God.  Anyone who steps into this space can sense this if they are open enough, and it is a feeling that words are difficult to find in explaining that otherworldly sense of being.

            One of my massage therapy students from twenty years ago was losing a partner with whom she had spent over thirty years.  This partner, going through much pain, illness, and breathing difficulty, was sent from the hospital to hospice.  This is where I saw her last.  Being the energy I am, the combination of Azrael (Angel of Death) and Magdalena (Lady Mercy), being a certified hospice person,  and someone who has communicated with those on the other side, I understand the sensitivity necessary to not only be present for the dying, but to be present for the grieving - creating a space of allowance of their priorities, needs and wishes.  This is a time for them to say good-bye to each other and to the life they knew together.  The space that needs to be created for them is one of stillness, peace, love, and safety for them to express all things from the heart to each other without interference or agendas of our own.  We are merely there as observers holding that space for them, and we need to be aware of their needs as the priority, for it is their life that is changing, their sorrow and grief, not ours, though we feel that deeply in the caring for them.

            Some people, out of what they feel is concern, try to interfere with their own thoughts or ideas of what is best for both the dying and grieving, or bring forth their own past experiences of sorrow, attempting to deal with this new one in a way that might have worked for them, but not for those truly involved.  They must realize that this is not their experience, it is someone else’s, and they need to come to this new situation with no pre-conceived notions of what is best, and that is where allowance and support come in.  All people deal with grief in different ways and no one way is right for all.  We cannot push ideas on those deeply involved, or interpret how they choose to say good-byes that might be our way, for this time it is their way, covering their needs.

            So many well-meaning people can sometimes be almost pushy, as my friend found out, in putting forth their own opinions and thoughts as to the best ways to handle the dying process and grieving process.  Or sometimes in not understanding that if a private moment is wanted, these people still want to push their well-meaning-ness upon them, thinking that their presence is needed when it clearly is not.  They might even get huffy and take it personally through misinterpreting the desire of those involved merely wanting to be alone.  The well-meaning actions turn into an ego thing for the visitor in this sacred space, perhaps unknowingly, but there is no room for ego in this space.  Agendas need to be left at home.  Opinions need to be kept behind the teeth.

            Allowing and quiet support – listening, with quiet love and peace flowing from the heart is what is needed, and a sensitivity to what the dying and grieving need from moment to moment - for it is also a confusing space for those going through this and the emotions swing widely with needs changing from one moment to the next.  What we need do as observers is to allow this and be aware enough to know when words or actions are needed and when they are not.  Sometimes a silent hug is the best action.  If they need to laugh, laugh with them.  If they need to cry, cry with them and put your arms around them with love and support from the heart.

            When I walked into this room of the dying and grieving, it was as though I was walking into the Light, standing in that tunnel of passing, but just at the entrance, just enough to see and feel the power of that Light, that sacredness.  What I felt was complete peace and love.  Personally, I did not want to disturb this profound sense of rightness, of the perfect space that had been created between the dying and grieving.   It was their space and I was invited as a privileged spectator, friend, someone who could talk softly, be supportive of their needs, allowing whatever emotions came through for them at the moment, and to merely flow with that.

            Death as it is seen by the Western world is so put into a closet that no one really knows how to deal with it, speak about it, behave around it.  It is, to me, a truly joyful moment when someone who has been wracked with illness is about to be freed from that pain and taken to their true Home – a reunion with others from the soul family. 

            American medicine looks upon death as a failure.  They don’t like to talk about it.  The only group I’ve ever seen that truly understands the sacredness, the mystery, and joy of it are hospice workers.  I applaud their willingness, their inner strength, and their spirituality in allowing each dying person and all the grieving parties involved to be what they need to be during this time.  They are truly angels of mercy.

            The combined energy of Azrael and Magdalena, or Magdrael as we are called, have a few words here. 

“Oh beings of form upon this earth – know that in truth you are not your bodies but are truly the energy of your souls.  If you would but believe this, the passing of a form would not be so painful, so grievous, so very sad.  The soul is the truth, and souls come together in form for a time, but it is temporary and only to complete contracts made with the other for the growth of the souls involved upon this earth.  Going back to the true Home, the place where the soul was created is a joyous event.  Those left behind are missing that form, that relationship, that sounding board, that person who was all and everything.  So grieve as you must for the loss of that form.  But please know that the energy of that form is so close to you that if it was still form, you would walk into it.  Talk with the soul as you would as though they were sitting with you, for they are.  Love that soul, as they still love you even if you cannot see them.  They are beside you always.  Some might not believe in this, but will come to find the truth of it when they pass. 

“It would be wonderful for both if you could believe in this before you also go Home, for you could still enjoy the energy of the one you miss so very much.  It is a cycle as all things in this Universe are a cycle, for in truth, all things are pure energy and nothing else.  The body is but a costume that is put on for this life upon the earth and you have all changed costumes many times through many lives.  The body is an illusion, but the energy of the soul and the love of the soul will remain always.    Grieve as you must, but do know and have faith in the truth that souls will come together again.  Your loved one is not any further away from you that the thickness of a hair on your head.  Believe that and find comfort in that, for it is truth.  You will find that out when your cycle on this earth is done.  It would behoove you to believe that now to bring peace to your heart.”

Love and blessings,

Magdrael